2008 Postseason Bench Tie-Breaker Rosters

So, I got home tonight and realized that we messed up big time. We should have each picked our tie-breaker bench rosters before tonight's game between the Jaguars and Colts. Whoops!

So, now we either have to take people at their words, or disqualify every Colts/Jaguars player. Discuss…

Either way, let's not wait any longer… get your bench picks in… recall you are ranking three bench players. In the event of a tie, your first pick will be compared with your opponents' #1 bench pick… if still tied, we then compare your second picks, and so on if necessary. (Read the rules here >)

Baxterminators:
1. Matt Ryan (QB-ATL) 8
2. Miami (DEF) 10
3. Brandon Jacobs (RB-NYG) 22

Animal:
1. Dan Orlovsky (QB-DET) -2
2. Baltimore (DEF) 6
3. Chicago (DEF) 7

Napoleon's Dynamite:
1. Tarvaris Jackson (QB-MIN) 15
2. New England (DEF) 11
3. Vincent Jackson (WR-SD) 5

The Agitated Lawyers:
1. David Garrard (QB-MIN) 16
2. DeAngelo Williams (RB-CAR) 29
3. LaDanian Tomlinson (RB-SD) 5

Sheik 'n' Bake:
No players selected

Grafdawgs:
1. Eli Manning (QB-NYG) 11
2. Johnathan Stewart (RB-CAR) 2
3. Anquan Boldin (WR-ARI) 0

2008 Regular Season Stats Recap

Let's take a look at the stats from the regular season: The full PDF is available here. (Right click to download)
Yahoo! has some interesting stats as well.

Here are some of the things I found most interesting about the 2008 Regular Season:

The Lawyers definitely had the toughest go at it, even though Yahoo shows the Grafdawgs and Sheik with the Hardest Strength of schedule (both averaging 82.06 points against). But take a look at the PDF's second page and Week 11. The Lawyers briefly had the highest Domination Pct. that week, but were second to last in Actual Win Pct. Very interesting how that could happen. Perhaps it explains how the Lawyers had the highest average margin of victory (35.67)

The best drafter this year appears to be the Animal, averaging 61.13 points from drafted players each week, while the Dynamite definitely found the short end of the stick on draft day, garnering a pitiful 28.93 points per week from his draftees (in Week 8, he only got 1 point from drafted players!). On the flip side, the Dynamite made up for it with the most weekly points from acquired players with 43.64 pts/week.

The Baxterminators dominated the league with the most, and best average, yardage per week from all position players (QB, RB & WR!) and the most average points from his kickers as well. The Animal made up ground in the area of TDs, leading the league with an average of 7.33 per week. Perhaps that's why both will be meeting in the SCFFCG this week.

The Baxterminators were also the most steady team in scoring, with a standard scoring deviation of 9.79—under 10 points!—and a scoring range of just 42 points. The Animal were the most erratic with a scoring range of 86 points and a standard deviation of 19.56! Which team will show up next week?

The Dynamite almost pulled off a miracle last week… coming from the cellar to the second place, and holding that position for most of the last day, until the Animal regained the 2nd spot in the late Sunday game. A valiant comeback effort.

The Grafdwags don't have much to celebrate this year. With two losing streaks of 4 games or more, there wasn't much hope to escape the Toilet Bowl. Having the least total points in the league and the worst domination pct. doesn't help either. It doesn't look good for the Grafpuppies in the Toilet Bowl either, as they are up against a Sheik team with a domination pct. over .500 (.513 to be exact) and a season scoring average that is nearly 10 points higher (77.67 to 68).

The Sheik lost their Oreo Bowl bid, narrowly to the Lawyers, as the Lawyers held the advantage in the first tie-breaker: domination pct. (.567 to .513) and the second tie-breaker: total points (1227 to 1165). But the Sheik would have won the third tie-breaker: head-to-head match-ups, by a two to one margin.

The Oreo Bowl has an interesting matchup as the Dynamite and Lawyer's records are almost perfect inverses in both the actual and domination records. Actual records: 8-6-1 and 6-8-1, respectively. Domination records: 32-41-2 and 41-31-3, respectively. Weird, right?

Other interesting thoughts:
No records, individual or team, were broken this year… unless someone can correct me.
This would be the Baxterminators first SCFF championship since the league's inception in 1999. They are 1-2 in Championship game history, while the Animal is 2-2 in championships.

Any other interesting notes from the regular season?

Playoff scenarios

I'll make just one assumption this week:
1) S. Smith is not scoring 34 more points for Sheiky Bakey

Therefore, Baxter has clinched a spot in the SCFFCG.

Everything else is up for grabs. In fact Ben has the potential to either clinch a spot in the SCFFCG or the TB. Very interesting.

Here are the scenarios for the the remaining spot in the SCFFCG
1) Animal wins -> Animal clinches
2) Animal loses and Dynamite loses -> Animal clinches
3) Animal loses and Dynamite wins -> Dynamite clinches

For the TB:
1) Lawyers lose, Sheik wins -> Merritt clinches
2) Lawyers lose, Sheik loses -> Sheik clinches, domination loser
3) Lawyers win, Sheik wins -> Dynamite clinches, domination loser
4) Lawyers win, Sheik loses -> Sheik clinches

Locking Rosters?

I was looking through the SCFF rules and couldn't find anything about locking down rosters for the last week or two weeks. I thought we did this last year, but not certain. Anyone remember?

Playoff scenarios

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and assume that Andre Johnson is not going to score 75 points and Kevin Walter will not drop 65 tonight. The Animal and Lawyers completely pwned Baxter and J-Rod in Week 13. In other news, the Grafdawgs have been pwned since Week 1.

Two weeks remain in the regular season. Here are the playoff scenarios:

Toilet Bowl:
Grafdawgs have a stone cold lead pipe lock on the role of Turd #1.
Another loss by the Lawyers will allow Merritt to defend his title. Winning the next two also still leaves the door open, since depending on other teams' fates, the tie-breaker may come into play.
The Baxterminators and Animal are toilet bowl exempt. Baxter you can jump and click your heels now.

Strictly Circus Bowl:
The Baxterminators and Animal need to win 1 game to secure spots in the title game.
Merritt is eliminated.
Napoleon and Sheik are still alive but they will likely need to win tie-breakers. Bake currently has the edge with a large domination edge over the Dynamite. Run up those scores.

If you see Plaxico Burress, and he isn't shooting himself, let him know he owes me 10 TD receptions.

Classic

Totally inappropriate, but I loved it anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVIJVMZZMiQ

I'll just post the link, so that I don't break the rule on uploading R rated language.

Go Phils!

Since I can't find anything interesting to say about Fantasy Football, and couldn't in good faith taunt Animal when I have to go and get 2 backup QBs, since my own backup has the same bye as my starters (idiot) I thought I'd go off-topic with what's monopolizing my time these days.

This guy - a late season acquisition - stepped up huge for the Phils on Monday. Here you see him crushing a fastball 10 rows back into the pavillion in L.A. He was still so excited at the post game press conference that he forgot that baseball players are supposed to answer questions with horribly cliche answers. I imagine as long as he stays with the Phillies, the other players won't miss a chance to remind him about this:

"You want to get that one big hit where you feel like you're part of the team,'' Stairs said. "Not that I don't feel like I'm part of the team, by no means, but when you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you're getting your ass hammered by guys, it's no better feeling than to have that done.''

Phillies fans love to create fan groups in the outfield to celebrate individual players. Wolf-pack. Sal's Pals. Chase's Chicks. Howard's Homers. The Padilla Flotilla. I hate to think of what they'd come up with for this guy.

I couldn't stand that other image. Period.

And this was funny… I hope. :-)

Animal mascot found in Indonesia

http://www.flickr.com/photos/10913960@N04/1372121805/

FAIL

Napoleon, I'd like to apologize. I'm sorry I teased you all weekend. You know you really had no chance. I'd shouldn't have let you hang around and let you get all starry-eyed. You could have spent your time chasing team in your own league, like the 49ers. Your roster of suck could have had a shot with those losers. Next time I'll put you out of your misery quicker. No need for you to look forward to Monday night.

Which brings me to my next worthy opponent, errrrrr, pitiful victim. Puppies, my whole roster plays in the early games, so this is going to quick and painless. You'll just feel a little prick and you'll go away.

While playing out the string for the rest of the year at the bottom of the standings you two can remember the glory days. Before you Millened your teams into the ground. Tom Brady and Tiki Barber aren't walkin' through that door. You didn't even drop/add your entire roster this week. It's really sad when you just lose the will to go on.

Dating advice from Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach

In the market for a mistress? Just follow Mike's advice and you'll be a hit with the ladies...

Week 3 Recap

The play of the Animal in week 3 can best be summed up as the following:


However the Animal is comforted by the fact that the Grafpuppies dropped a deuce all over the league. Nice job with your -4 NE Defense. It appears you've now resorted to the Napoleon Bangpop waiver wire strategy. I suggest that all you need is a little of this for your guys:

Finally, an oldie but goodie... Jets fan has got nothing on these dopes:

J-E-Wha?

Saw this on the TV tonight during the game.

FAN-tastic! :-) Belongs on the FAIL blog.

Glad I dropped this guy…

…before he dropped his pants.

Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays

That seriously may have been the worst Monday night (technically Tuesday morning here) of my life. Fuck.

The Most Idiotic Man in the World

I fucking hate Santana Moss!!! What an asshole for reeling off a 15-point game right after I cut him. Isn't that just like a guy from the U?

Of course the true fault in the matter lies with my incredible ability to make roster moves sure to prevent my team from winning one of the few games in which they're actually hanging close. Hence the title of this post.

Any chance you can get Dos Equis to do an add campaign on me, Ben?

Tonight my prayers are for an Eagles win in which they shut down the Cowboys running game yet allow a big performance from my 10th round draft pick.

Plead Out Lawyers

Lawyers, take the plea bargain and give up now. Otherwise I'll ask the judge for the maximum. You'll be stuck with this guy's abs scoring TDs all over your birds tomorrow night. Not even Westbrook can save you, he's no Eagle, he's an Animal!

Eagle Fan, tell me how my touchdowns taste!

Week 1 Recap

Did anyone notice that the season started? Braylon Edwards and Tory Holt didn't. Let's get this blog going. Bring on your smack!

Here's my Week 1 recap...

v.

I am in you house eating all your chicknz. Seriously, don't bring that Marc Bulger / Stephen Jackasson garbage in here. Didn't you watch the Maple Shade show last season? Here's a free tip, drop Santana Moss now! You've got your TD catch, don't even think you're going to get another. Don't wait until week 13 to figure that out.

v.

You two need better nicknames. This is all I can get from an image search. This is what Google thinks of you. Baxter, nice job Michael Vicking the dawgs this week. Do you want to go back and redo the draft now due to your computer crash? You are one lucky Baxtard.

v.

The most amazing factoid of the weekend is that a QB that played 7:33 this season (+1) outscored Carson Palmer (-1). The Lawyers QBs outscored the entire bang snap squad. The bang snaps did make a brilliant move by picking up Flacco just moments before Brady's knee decided to go Operation Shutdown on the season. Let's look at the tale of the tape...

v.

Career TDs: 197 - 1 Brady

Superbowl Rings: 3 - 0 Brady
Chicks: Giselle - AXO Brady
College Helmet: Stolen from Princeton - Stolen from Princeton Push
Knee Ligaments: 0 - 1 Flacco

Flacco by TKO!

React to me! Animal out.

The annual pre-season rant

Oh the blunders of modern technology.

So this is the first opportunity I've had to really look over my roster, and the bile has yet to recede from my throat. It's clear that either I did something wrong when trying to customize my pre-draft rankings or Yahoo pulled a fast one and the changes I made didn't take hold because there are definitely some discrepancies between what I remember doing and how the results came out. A kicker in round 10? Even I'm not that stupid. We all know how much I, as a die-hard Eagles fan, love every member of the Cowboys, but come on - Nick Folk? Good thing I made up for that momentary lapse of reason by picking a 2nd kicker in the final round.

And how about Michael Turner and Tony Gonzalez when Favre, Garcia, Eli, Galloway, Clark, Coles, and Cotchery were all still available? A few of those guys could have bolstered a less-than-stellar pair of previously drafted QBs (which I'll address momentarily) and at least a few of the others were higher on my list than the guys I ended up with. I don't even know what team Michael Turner is on.

And it wouldn't be a SCFF season if I weren't pissed off about my QBs before anyone's even thrown a meaningful pass. I think the double travesty of Bulger and Cutler was less a result of technical difficulties than it was of me not being able to make changes to my rankings based on how other people were drafting, so I really can't complain...but I will anyway.

But hey, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Last year I actively chose my players, and look what happened. Maybe letting the computer do it is the way to go. At the very least, if my team sucks, I can't take the blame for once.

All this sound and fury is merely to signify that the trading channels are officially open. I'm willing to part with any player that my pal the computer drafted, with the exceptions of Randy Moss and the Minnesota defense, for fair compensation. For example, I'll trade the entire rest of the team put together, lock, stock, and Scobee, for a six-pack of Sam Cherry Wheat, a couple Oreos, a decent QB, and some magic beans.

Any takers?

And can someone who knows more about this sport than I do please tell me - honestly - if my team is really as bad as I think it is or if I'm simply being overly melodramatic and self-deprecatory as usual?

And so it begins…

Ocho Cinco may be the first early draft pick bust by your own Napoleon's Dynamite. Here's to ice packs and chunky soup.

Never thought I'd see the day

...that a highly regarded Michigan quarterback would go 39 picks AFTER a Delaware quarterback.

Congratulations to the Flaccos. His family looked ecstatic on TV. Nice to see the "small" school player go high.

Ravens were already my second favorite team. Now, they really really are my second favorite.

I still remember listening to the Navy / Delaware game while driving up from Baltimore on the Navy station, and the announcers said that they knew that Ravens scouts were in the stands to watch Flacco, who turned out to have the best game of his career. Turns out their director of college scouting went to see that one personally.

March Madness - Draft Time

Just like the NFL, Strictly Circus FF dominates the off-season too. It's already time for the draft. Or time to pick the order for the draft. Or time to pick groups of 18 year old kids to win game that will help you pick your draft position. It is also time to talk smack on those who lose their final four picks on the first weekend.

The bracket game is moving to Yahoo this year (take a hint Brian) . Sign up through Yahoo fantasy games and join the "Strictly Circus" group. If you don't have the invitation with the password, I'll give you a hint... green light chickens.

For the newbies... If you win the tourney challenge, you get to choose your draft position. And place gets 2nd choice, and so on.

Sign up here

J-Rod v. T-Romo

T-Romo's got nothin' on J-Rod.

You'll Wear It and You'll Like It

After reading this, I'm certainly glad that Tyler seems happy in his Delaware jersey and even happier that Brian doesn't have any kids yet.

Delaware

Good old Delaware...



This one's NSFW, FYI




Holy crap!



Enjoy.

Points to ponder for 2008

With the 2007 season behind us, let's consider what changes and/or additions or league may need going into 2008--before we totally forget what happened. Here's my short list. Add to it, edit it, condemn it, etc:

- Should we lock rosters after Week 14? 15?
- Should we increase the value of a Safety from 2 points to 6? 4? 9?
- Should we include return yardage from punts/kickoffs?
- Should we impose time limits during the draft for each pick?

Discuss.