The annual pre-season rant

Oh the blunders of modern technology.

So this is the first opportunity I've had to really look over my roster, and the bile has yet to recede from my throat. It's clear that either I did something wrong when trying to customize my pre-draft rankings or Yahoo pulled a fast one and the changes I made didn't take hold because there are definitely some discrepancies between what I remember doing and how the results came out. A kicker in round 10? Even I'm not that stupid. We all know how much I, as a die-hard Eagles fan, love every member of the Cowboys, but come on - Nick Folk? Good thing I made up for that momentary lapse of reason by picking a 2nd kicker in the final round.

And how about Michael Turner and Tony Gonzalez when Favre, Garcia, Eli, Galloway, Clark, Coles, and Cotchery were all still available? A few of those guys could have bolstered a less-than-stellar pair of previously drafted QBs (which I'll address momentarily) and at least a few of the others were higher on my list than the guys I ended up with. I don't even know what team Michael Turner is on.

And it wouldn't be a SCFF season if I weren't pissed off about my QBs before anyone's even thrown a meaningful pass. I think the double travesty of Bulger and Cutler was less a result of technical difficulties than it was of me not being able to make changes to my rankings based on how other people were drafting, so I really can't complain...but I will anyway.

But hey, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Last year I actively chose my players, and look what happened. Maybe letting the computer do it is the way to go. At the very least, if my team sucks, I can't take the blame for once.

All this sound and fury is merely to signify that the trading channels are officially open. I'm willing to part with any player that my pal the computer drafted, with the exceptions of Randy Moss and the Minnesota defense, for fair compensation. For example, I'll trade the entire rest of the team put together, lock, stock, and Scobee, for a six-pack of Sam Cherry Wheat, a couple Oreos, a decent QB, and some magic beans.

Any takers?

And can someone who knows more about this sport than I do please tell me - honestly - if my team is really as bad as I think it is or if I'm simply being overly melodramatic and self-deprecatory as usual?

And so it begins…

Ocho Cinco may be the first early draft pick bust by your own Napoleon's Dynamite. Here's to ice packs and chunky soup.