Dating advice from Texas Tech head coach Mike Leach

In the market for a mistress? Just follow Mike's advice and you'll be a hit with the ladies...

Week 3 Recap

The play of the Animal in week 3 can best be summed up as the following:


However the Animal is comforted by the fact that the Grafpuppies dropped a deuce all over the league. Nice job with your -4 NE Defense. It appears you've now resorted to the Napoleon Bangpop waiver wire strategy. I suggest that all you need is a little of this for your guys:

Finally, an oldie but goodie... Jets fan has got nothing on these dopes:

J-E-Wha?

Saw this on the TV tonight during the game.

FAN-tastic! :-) Belongs on the FAIL blog.

Glad I dropped this guy…

…before he dropped his pants.

Looks like someone's got a case of the Mondays

That seriously may have been the worst Monday night (technically Tuesday morning here) of my life. Fuck.

The Most Idiotic Man in the World

I fucking hate Santana Moss!!! What an asshole for reeling off a 15-point game right after I cut him. Isn't that just like a guy from the U?

Of course the true fault in the matter lies with my incredible ability to make roster moves sure to prevent my team from winning one of the few games in which they're actually hanging close. Hence the title of this post.

Any chance you can get Dos Equis to do an add campaign on me, Ben?

Tonight my prayers are for an Eagles win in which they shut down the Cowboys running game yet allow a big performance from my 10th round draft pick.

Plead Out Lawyers

Lawyers, take the plea bargain and give up now. Otherwise I'll ask the judge for the maximum. You'll be stuck with this guy's abs scoring TDs all over your birds tomorrow night. Not even Westbrook can save you, he's no Eagle, he's an Animal!

Eagle Fan, tell me how my touchdowns taste!

Week 1 Recap

Did anyone notice that the season started? Braylon Edwards and Tory Holt didn't. Let's get this blog going. Bring on your smack!

Here's my Week 1 recap...

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I am in you house eating all your chicknz. Seriously, don't bring that Marc Bulger / Stephen Jackasson garbage in here. Didn't you watch the Maple Shade show last season? Here's a free tip, drop Santana Moss now! You've got your TD catch, don't even think you're going to get another. Don't wait until week 13 to figure that out.

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You two need better nicknames. This is all I can get from an image search. This is what Google thinks of you. Baxter, nice job Michael Vicking the dawgs this week. Do you want to go back and redo the draft now due to your computer crash? You are one lucky Baxtard.

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The most amazing factoid of the weekend is that a QB that played 7:33 this season (+1) outscored Carson Palmer (-1). The Lawyers QBs outscored the entire bang snap squad. The bang snaps did make a brilliant move by picking up Flacco just moments before Brady's knee decided to go Operation Shutdown on the season. Let's look at the tale of the tape...

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Career TDs: 197 - 1 Brady

Superbowl Rings: 3 - 0 Brady
Chicks: Giselle - AXO Brady
College Helmet: Stolen from Princeton - Stolen from Princeton Push
Knee Ligaments: 0 - 1 Flacco

Flacco by TKO!

React to me! Animal out.