Did anyone notice that the season started? Braylon Edwards and Tory Holt didn't. Let's get this blog going. Bring on your smack!
Here's my Week 1 recap...
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I am in you house eating all your chicknz. Seriously, don't bring that Marc Bulger / Stephen Jackasson garbage in here. Didn't you watch the Maple Shade show last season? Here's a free tip, drop Santana Moss now! You've got your TD catch, don't even think you're going to get another. Don't wait until week 13 to figure that out.
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You two need better nicknames. This is all I can get from an image search. This is what Google thinks of you. Baxter, nice job Michael Vicking the dawgs this week. Do you want to go back and redo the draft now due to your computer crash? You are one lucky Baxtard.
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The most amazing factoid of the weekend is that a QB that played 7:33 this season (+1) outscored Carson Palmer (-1). The Lawyers QBs outscored the entire bang snap squad. The bang snaps did make a brilliant move by picking up Flacco just moments before Brady's knee decided to go Operation Shutdown on the season. Let's look at the tale of the tape...
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Career TDs: 197 - 1 Brady
Superbowl Rings: 3 - 0 BradyChicks: Giselle - AXO Brady
College Helmet: Stolen from Princeton - Stolen from Princeton Push
Knee Ligaments: 0 - 1 Flacco
Flacco by TKO!
React to me! Animal out.
3 comments:
Thank you computer glitch! It would have been a tough choice between Peterson and Brady for me at #3. I'm not sure what I would have done. At the time I was upset that the computer made my pick for me. Now... thank you computer!
ps- The Eagles game was a thing of beauty. I knew I should have drafted Hank Baskett.
NOW the season has really begun - it wouldn't be official until Chris lit up the boards with some witty, pictorially-enhanced smack. And I must say I appreciate his advice, too. I don't know why the '08 Sheik 'n' Bake so closely resemble the '07 Shade, but rest assured: Steven Jackson and Marc Bulger are about as welcome in Abu Dhabi as a sharp decline in the price of crude. Santana may have a slightly longer leash, if only because his name reminds me of a great band. Plus he may just end up being the most productive Moss on my team now that Break-a-leg Brady has crippled the Pats, but I doubt week 13 is in his future.
I also owe gratitude this week to Baxter for offering to send Jett Favre rocketing back to the Middle East for a reunion tour - Kitna's here too; we're getting the band back together. Providing the trade goes through unchallenged, it'll be nice to have one player on my team who I'm actually a fan of amidst the indifference-inspiring lot that my pal Hal chose for me on draft day ("I'm sorry, Dave. I can't allow you to draft good players...or even ones you like."). As a result of Baxter's generosity, I may finally be willing to forgive and forget his dastardly QB caper from last year's draft...at least until Favre becomes an interception machine and single-handedly screws both me and my J-E-T-S Jets Jets Jets.
Oh, and I'd still be up for a redo of the draft even if Baxter has dropped his suit.
So, I took the team to the doctor this weekend. Some of the guys aren't looking like they'll make it out of the ICU. Others aren't sure what is more injured… their egos or their bodies. Right now it's both.
I'm not sure how to win with a team that has at least half of it's starting lineup injured before or during a week and then watch those who are even able-bodied fall short of even a single touchdown. How I didn't break my own record for least points scored in a week is beyond me.
I am looking forward to celebrating that first touchdown this week, and perhaps even breaking the "half-score" barrier (half the score of the lowest scoring team in the league for any given week).
I will say this: Cassel has the potential to be a Steve Young or a Tom Br… oh, fuck it… it's a good thing I picked up Flacco. I'm a Blue Hen if nothing else!
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